Do you have that one person in your workplace who instigates disagreements? Almost all jobs have one. While it seems ridiculous to allow this to affect your mindset, personal morale becomes subdued by disrespect. Even when you put forth positive displays of emotion, inside your frustrated. If irritating insults and unsolicited opinions occur frequently, you may become overactive. Often times tension occurs with minimal provocation. If you can understand the mindset of those who incite conflict, you have an opportunity to adjust your responses.
Those directing the psychological manipulation are doing so for several reasons
Control Freak: They seek control over circumstances, outcomes, and the quality of work the team produces. Although it may appear negative to other workers, this is perceived as good leadership skills by the boss. Most of the time, the boss fails to see ongoing tension between employees.
Big Ego/Narcissistic: Having a big ego or a touch of narcissism creates arguments because the individual is focused on their thoughts, desires, and feelings only. Narcissism is often linked to poor parenting, discipline, and never being told no. There is no regard for defaming others to achieve high levels of recognition or status. They can only see the world from their perspective and have no sympathy for others. Additional signs include, being aggravated when exertions of power fall on deaf ears.
Job Resentment: There is a deep hatred for the job itself. This person may be suffering from severe anger issues, depression, or grief which spills over from the home front to the work environment. Most likely if this person is disrespectful and judgmental at work, then it’s probably due to outside negative circumstances.
Low-self esteem and insecurity: The truth may be that they are uneducated and not skilled at their job. As a result of feeling inferior, they point out flaws in others just to look better in comparison. But as a peer, you need to realize that if you do react to those obvious displays of criticism; you are no better than they are.
Change Your Responses
If you are looking to change your response, there are several ways this can be accomplished without making the situation more messy.
Agree to Disagree Properly: Make sure you have a discussion that helps both parties understand each other’s dissimilarities by delving into the reasons why they exist. If this phase is neglected, the differences will deepen and harden. Once that occurs, it is almost impossible to break down that barrier.
Make Compromises: Once a discussion has taken place, a proper solution can be reached. When making a compromise, both parties positions should be addressed with a strategy for eliminating future concerns.
Combat Control with Positivity: Realize that at the end of the day there is no one who can control your own reaction except you. If you let someone in your head, remember that you have the power to push them out. If you create a negative energy in your response, the other employees are now at risk to be emotionally affected.
Do Not React: You can defeat conflicts by not reacting. Doing so will be more unsettling than being defensive. Troublemakers enjoy when you are uncomfortable because that means they have power over you. When they realize that no one is paying attention, their ego, a sense of control, or insecurities grow.
So now you have changed the dynamic!
Once you follow these steps, you are effectively changing the way in which the workplace interacts as a unit. Of course everyone differs in personality, skills, and work ethic. But being aware of each other’s differences are what makes a team work more efficiently together.
If you are struggling with this issue at your job or office, please do not feel defeated. Take the power from that one person and distribute it. The moment someone believes they are superior to everyone, stress begins to accumulate. Go to work with a positive attitude! You can dislike someone from a distance. But if you believe in the quality of your work, it shows to the boss. Do not fall prey to the employee who believes that they are in charge.